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I got an object lesson in flirting today. I went to the KEXP Bar-B-Que/concert/garage sale thingy with a girl I took to a concert earlier. She's incredibly cute and heavy into her art but there's just not a lot of chemistry. Anyway. As she's getting slightly drunk I keep running in to women there that I would definately like to stop and flirt with and it's the most exruciating feeling to let them pass. They're dancing to hip hop and wearing glasses, what's not to like?

So it's settled. I'm taking Ed, the wingman extrodinare, with me to all outdoor music festivals from now on.

15 Comments

Aw man...Mike and I missed out on that and USE yesterday.

You were supposed to have gone? oh man, that would have been cool to meet up. I mean, not that it wasn't cool to run into the coke dealing psychotic roomate of her ex and all, I mean that was really fun.

dating lesson #46: if you both decide there is no chemistry, ditch her and flirt with everyone else and tell them she's your sister. or your lesbian friend. works every time. that said, there are plenty of cute girls with glasses who dance to hip hop in this town. go get em!

Just don't give Ed too much beer (or champaigne especially)... I have pictures from LA (Huskies Rose Bowl...) and very vivid memories of Ed's grope priorities under influence :p

Martin's right. The grope priorities are a problem - especially because they apply to men, too!

Assuming nothing had happened already with the girl, it seems odd that you would feel unable to flirt with anyone you wished. She may very well appreciate doing the same, and it might in turn do wonders for the chemistry between you. On a side note: women have been proven to be better wingmen (hence the term "wingchicks") Give her a tip next time and put her to work ;)

Okay, now it's a tie between Ed and Ms. Crocker for best wing-person. Ed has a proven track record but the Abster brings fresh ideas and knowledge of the secret cool glasses-clad women's locale. Discuss.

Dear Abby reiterates a great point (although i find that slightly ironic that Dear Abby is not me since it would be more fitting, don't you think?), although there are two sides to the "chicks make better wingpeople" argument. On the one hand, if the hottie in glasses sees you next to WingChick, she may assume that you are together, which can be solved by copious amounts of mingling and minimal amounts of deep conversations with WingChick. On the other hand, WingChick can slip into a conversation with Glasses and tell her all the wonderful things about you since you are close personal platonic friends. It is also easier for Glasses or the like to approach minimal groupings of men. the larger the number of men, the less likely Glasses is to approach the group. The average IQ is halved when you add beer to men in large groups. that's a scientific fact. betty crocker will be wingchick anytime. especially if beer is involved.

Dear Abbey isn't betty crocker?.. uh.. hmm... *head asplodes*. Damn anonymous comment engine, yield to me the secret of Dear Abbey's identity!... nothing. Well crap, curiosity is going to keep me up nights now.

Zack: men are stupid, and women are crazy. It's pretty much a crap-shoot all around. That being said...you have to take the right girl with you to truly master the wingman technique. Abby is the best you could take on such a mission due to her sheer savy, know-how, and all around coolness.

oh my goodness! you like me, you really like me!

Best bet for a fella to pick up chicks is to go with TWO wingpeople... guy and girl. If I see 2 dudes with one gal, I do not assume she is anyone's date, even if they're hanging out all night. In line with Abbs, a "wingchick" can more easily approach another girl to talk up her potential suitor without fear of sleazing out the girl (note: whenever a fella approaches a lady, even if it's not for himself, the lady already has her guard up-- I didn't make that up; it's science. You can't dispute that). Another benefit of having 2 wingpeople: more eyes to spot other flirting possibilities if the one you just tried for goes horribly wrong.

Two "wingmen" easily begin to make the single man on the prowl look like a third wheel.

ya'll make it to hard...life is short, if you like the person go talk to them...as far as the person you came with, tell them she's your friend...

Just to clarify, I wasn't so concerned with what Glasses was wondering about the girl I brought to the concert. It was what this girl I brought to the concert, with me as her ride home, would be doing during that time. Music and all that sure, but it seems a little cold to say "hey baby, thanks for coming with me, now stand over there while I hit on this girl".

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