Trickster

There is a mental exercise I do as part of a process to work on my fear of flying (amongst other things). It's fairly hard to explain, but portions of it consist of attempting to describe, often in visual terms, portions of your self. Minds out of the gutter people, talking psyche here. Most of it is fairly simple and straight forward - this is orange, that is pulsing, whatever - but it was quite an interesting experience to encounter a portion of my self that seemed to want to defy description.

Imagine trying to look at something and it not wanting to be looked at, almost sliding away from vision. When focused on as soon as you start to describe it, it changes to no longer fit that description. Because this exercise deals with visual terms that is quite odd, and intriguing, making me want to focus more on the thing that doesn't want to be focused on. Apparently it isn't that uncommon but often varies as to what is fighting description. In my particular case it is a protective self-preserving urge, which brings itself to the forefront when flying or in other stressful situations - makes sense given my experiences. It's quite a fascinating process.

This whole exercise occured several days ago and I probably should have written when it was fresh in my mind. That's a habit I need to get in to, writing when experiences are fresh in my mind. It seemed to work quite well on my trip to New York. Even if it's just little notes it's amazing how much clearer you can recall things and events with a written reminder.

And there you go.